Lights, Camera…. now what?

Posted bySamoneChrisman87Posted inUncategorizedTags:, ,

I had thought this first blog post was going to be all glitz and glamour, awe-inspiring and blog-award winning in all its glory! I had visions of instantly becoming famous, people taking my picture (weird, because I don’t like or want either of those things) and my fans crying as they saw me. But soon I realized it was just me, the Queen of Procrastination, dragging her feet, “waiting” for inspiration. The all-too brave voice in my head kept telling me to “just f*cking DO it already”. (Like she knew what she was talking about.) So, reluctantly, I complied and here we are. (If you’re still reading.)

It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid. The hardest and scariest part is the courage to pull. This is a constant struggle in life. For 15 years I haven’t written. And it’s not that I’m terrible. It’s because the last 15 years, I had lost who I was. Journals I had written in, destroyed by a fire of someone else’s insecurities. Literally a bon fire where my journals were burned. Figuratively because their burning was fueled by my insecure, abusive ex. The years that followed were shadowed in self-doubt, insecurities and loneliness. I had lost myself. My identity. Without those books, who was I? Where had I come from?

Yet, here I am, ripping off the Band-Aid. The wound feels fresh underneath and a bit uncomfortable. But you know what else it feels like? A breath of fresh air. Redemption. Wounds heal when cleansed and taken care of. Just. Like. You. What is holding you back from your passions? It’s never too late to fall in love again with an old passion. Or find something new….

Published by SamoneChrisman87

I'm a mother to 2 precious kids, engaged to the most wonderful man in the world and a pig mom. I live in Northern California, work a full time job and go to school part time. Now that the standard, mundane and boring intro has been written- REAL TALK I have 2 kids that are usually awesome. Except when they aren't. They are smart, kind (except to each other), opinionated and sarcastic. Those last 2 are all me. You're welcome world. THE MOST amazing man. But those rare times he isn't. And it's usually not him, it's me. The same man that encouraged me to start a blog. I'm better with words than he is. (But not perfect.) 'Cause why not? We will see who wants to read my blog and if no one does, I'm only out $50 for the year. Feels kind of like when my fiance, (Chris) told everyone "I've wasted money on stupider things" referring to our engagement and the ring he purchased. Thanks babe! And a pig mom. Because somehow being a pet owner is some type of social status? And I felt compelled to tell you all I own pigs. Cause they are cool as shit. And somehow, over the last few years, I have magically transformed into the crazy pig lady. Ya. Cats and dogs are overrated. (Confession-I still have one of each of those assholes too) Wow, that was a lot longer than I thought. They have this cool, helpful section in the beginning of WordPress that tells you to let people know what you plan for your blog to be about and why want to write it. Well, I'm not really sure the answer to either of those questions, but I guess we'll find out.

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