Eight

I never had to pee in a coffee can before. The smell of urine permeated my nose with the metallic coffee smell that lingered in the empty container. This was such a small space, but luckily it was just my brother and I. She was telling us it was time for bed and this included us using the coffee can. I could feel my brother behind me as I was trying to pee and aim. Not an easy feet when your 8. She showed us where to dumb the can when we were done.

            I crawled in to the bed. It was only half of a camper. The kind the go over the bed of the truck. So we got to sleep up high. The curtains that covered the windows smelled moldy and I could feel a gust of cold air past the heavy curtains that covered the window. The cold bit at my toes that poked beneath the too short blanket. The ragged blanket didn’t quite reach from chin to toes. I didn’t have any pajamas yet and it was in the middle of December. I was hoping Santa would bring me some pajamas and a new doll. I swore I had been good. I didn’t fuss and I followed direction when she asked me to keep quiet and leave her alone. I didn’t ask for much for Christmas and I didn’t even think he would be able to find us in the middle of nowhere.  My last doll was taken when our car disappeared at the hotel we were staying at. I remember her blaming it on my dad. So maybe he had my dolly. This was a lot warmer than sleeping in the car. And much more comfortable.

            I felt the bed sink beside me as my brother climbed in to bed next to me. The first night in our “own room” as she called it. I was younger so I had to sleep closest to the window. My eyes grew heavy, in time to hear a howl just outside the flimsy window with the moldy curtain.